Monterey :: Blog

Building Strong Families

jlang@montereychurch.com — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 06:00:00 GMT

Nick and Nancy Stinnett have partnered in research on strong families for the past thirty years. Nick has taught graduate and undergraduate courses in the areas of Human Development and Family Studies for thirty-five years, most recently at the University of Alabama. Nancy served as a teacher at the Infant Laboratory in the Department of Human Development, also at the University of Alabama.

Based on the largest study on strong families at the time they wrote their book, Fantastic Families: 6 Proven Steps to Building a Strong Family, in 1999—they contend that strong families are built with intentionality. Too many husbands and wives, and too many parents just “go with the flow.” We lack intentionality, have no plan, and as a result many times our families fall apart.

After twenty-five years of worldwide research involving over 14,000 strong families, they identified six definite steps to building a fantastic family. You’ll have to read the book to get the full impact of their research, but the six proven steps are:

Commit to your family
Express appreciation and affection
Share positive communication
Spend time together
Nurture spiritual well-being
Learn to cope with stress and crises

Any time I think about the qualities of strong families, I am also reminded of a little book by John M. Drescher that I stumbled across several years ago with the mind-grabbing title If I Were Starting My Family Again. A provoking thought, isn’t it? Drescher offers several insights that I think are quite important in family life. While I can’t start my family again, I can begin where I am today.

I would love my wife more. With three children who kept our schedules extremely busy while they were still at home, I know what Drescher is talking about. In the closeness of family life, it is easy to take each other for granted and let a dullness creep in that can dampen the deepest love. Drescher contends that a child who knows his/her parents love each other needs little explanation about the character of God’s love. The love of father and mother flows visibly to the child.

I would develop feelings of belonging. Each child needs to sense that he belongs in the family. When a child feels that sense of belonging, he has a stability that can stand against anything.

I would laugh more with my children. Enough said! Those happy experiences open the door for so many other things that the family can do together.

I would be a better listener. We need to be better communicators and better listeners. There is a vital link between listening to a child’s concerns when she is young and the extent to which she will share her concerns when she is a teenager.

I would do more encouraging. In all relationships, Paul encourages us to use language that is “helpful for building others up” (Ephesians 4:29). How important for us to persist in daily praise and encouragement in our homes.

I would seek to share God more intimately. If children are to know God, parents must be the primary conveyors. I like what Drescher says: “If I were starting my family again, that is what I would want to be above all else—God’s love with skin on.”

—Barry Stephens

Parenting Isn’t For Cowards

jlang@montereychurch.com — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 06:00:00 GMT

The sermon series titled Love Is A Decision continues this morning with particular focus on parenting. As a church family, we will extend special blessings to parents who have experienced the birth of children during this past year. This annual Family Commitment Sunday is always a reminder of the joy of life, and of the blessings and challenges that come in being a parent.

Regardless of background, training, upbringing, or physical condition, parenting requires some basic skills. May I suggest the following specifics for those of us who are parents and grandparents.

Comforting: Parents must be able to understand and share the pain when their children hurt. The initial step is not fixing, denying, condemning, or even teaching—the first step is always to identify with the pain.
Storytelling: Telling the story of your life is central to parenthood. Children need to hear what happened before they were around. The stories of difficulties, embarrassments, challenges, adventures, friendships, teachers, and fun times will help children build a parent-child bond that will serve them well for a lifetime.
Problem Solving: Children learn how to manage conflict by watching parents handle disagreements and solve problems. Parents model this skill as they settle their differences with spouses, friends, and relatives, and as they work through problems and crisis times.
Listening: Listening involves the eyes and the ears. Eye contact signals the ears are tuned in. Really good listeners are hard to find. This skill requires time, focused attention, and the ability to hear the feelings behind the words.
Involvement: Playtime is more important than most parents realize. Doing things together requires the investment of time, and time is one of the most abused adult resources. Involvement can mean lots of things, but in whatever form it takes, it is an investment that pays great dividends.
Blessing: Hugs and high fives and the words “I love you” are all forms of blessing. At the surface level, a blessing is any expression of love and appreciation for the child. At a deeper level, a blessing is acceptance and hope for the future, even in the midst of failure and disappointment.
Forgiving: People who live in the same home are bound to hurt and disappoint one another on occasion. These hurts, if not resolved, will grow into resentments that will destroy mutual respect. Learning to ask for and grant forgiveness is one of the most important life skills a child can acquire. For those of us who are parents, it starts by being open enough to ask for our children’s forgiveness when we have messed up.
Limiting: For some, setting limits is the hardest part of parenting. Healthy parents know that limits are necessary for a growing sense of security and for strong character to develop. Living within limits is a mark of adulthood and is part of the legacy we pass on to our children.

—Barry Stephens

Café Monterey - Hugs For The Heart—He Loves Forever!

jlang@montereychurch.com — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 07:00:00 GMT

I encourage you to be part of a seven-week Café Monterey session that will begin this Wednesday evening, April 16th. In addition to coffee and desserts, we will enjoy moments of worship, study, and conversation regarding God’s forever love! We will discover again God’s passionate love for us—a love that pursues us, a love that invites us into his very presence, into his warm embrace.

God’s forever love is also a love that calls us to extend hugs to our community and world—to extend love, grace, and forgiveness to the unlovable, to bring good news to the poor, freedom for the prisoners, recovery of sight for the blind, and release for the oppressed (Luke 4:15). You see, an important piece of celebrating God’s love in our lives is extending that love to others.

My goal in leading this Café session is to encourage us to bask in the warmth of God’s love for us, but also to call us to step beyond our comfort zones in extending that love—even to those we may consider unlovable. Perhaps we will see again how amazing God’s love is to us—since we likewise are so often unlovable, and certainly don’t deserve the love God has shown us.

In addition to the Café session, a multitude of other options for study and fellowship exists on Wednesday night. If Wednesday nights at Monterey are not part of your weekly schedule, or if you have just gotten out of the habit of attending on Wednesday nights, let me encourage you to join us beginning this week.

Please remember these other events during April:

Our annual Family Commitment Sunday is scheduled for next Sunday, April 20th. This Sunday provides an opportunity for us to extend special blessings to families who have experienced the birth of children during the past year!

Our Prayer and Spiritual Growth Ministry is hosting a special Prayer Conference on Saturday, April 26th, from 9 a.m.–3 p.m. called Discover A Fresh Encounter With God. The registration fee of $18 covers materials and lunch. Brochures with registration information are available at the Welcome Center.

—Barry Stephens

Love is a Decision

jlang@montereychurch.com — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 07:00:00 GMT

I will begin a seven-week sermon series this morning titled Love Is A Decision. I vividly remember a statement I heard at a Family Conference hosted by Herald of Truth 15 years ago. God wants the church to be a family of families. No matter what your “family” situation is—married, divorced, single, single parent, etc.—the church is designed to be a safe place for us as we experience both the joys and disappointments in our lives. My prayer is that this sermon series will both encourage you and challenge you no matter where you are on that journey. Click more for the specific titles for the seven messages.

April Events

jlang@montereychurch.com — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 06:00:00 GMT

We welcome Mark & Samjung Hamilton and their children to Monterey today. Mark will speak in our morning assemblies, and both of them will be part of the Shaping Faith in a New World event from noon-2 p.m. Their presentations are geared toward adult and children’s Bible class teachers. Both Mark and Samjung teach at Abilene Christian University, and we look forward to the blessing they will be to our teachers today.

April will be a busy time for numerous ministries at Monterey. Please be aware of the following opportunities during the month:

This Wednesday, April 9th, Best Friends from Lubbock Christian University will sing during our evening gathering. Several of our Wednesday adult classes concluded a series this past Wednesday night, so we encourage you to hear Best Friends at 7 p.m. in the Worship Center. The College-Age Class, and both the Middle School and High School Classes will also meet in the Worship Center. It will be a great evening!
Next Sunday, April 13th, I will begin a seven-week sermon series titled Love Is A Decision. Messages in the series will focus on the commitment God calls us to bring to marriage, family, and parenting. I encourage you to invite your friends and neighbors to join us for this important series of lessons.
A session of Café Monterey will begin on Wednesday, April 16th. I will lead this particular Café session titled Hugs For The Heart: He Loves Forever. These Wednesday evenings are always marvelous opportunities for study, conversation, and worship with coffee and dessert. Please invite friends and neighbors to join us beginning April 16th.
Our annual Family Commitment Sunday is scheduled for Sunday,
April 20th. This Sunday provides an opportunity for us to extend special blessings to families who have experienced the birth of children during the past year!
On Sunday evening, April 20th, beginning at 5:30 p.m. we will enjoy an All-Church Family Picnic and Game Night on our campus with activities both in and outside the building. We encourage all of you to plan to be here that evening for a time of food, fellowship, games, and just plain fun with each other!
Our Prayer and Spiritual Growth Ministry is hosting a special Prayer Conference on Saturday, April 26th, from 9 a.m.–3 p.m. called Discover A Fresh Encounter With God. The $18 registration fee covers materials and lunch. Brochures with registration information are available at the Welcome Center.

There are other activities scheduled during May, including high school, middle school, and pre-teen retreats. It’s going to be a great month to focus on our spiritual walks with God, to reach out to others, and to just enjoy being part of a church family that loves God and each other!

It was a blessing to have Kenny and Jennifer Lewis with us again this past Sunday. The target date for their transition to Lubbock is at the end of their school year. If you’d like to drop them a note of encouragement, their address is: 244 Flores Way; Jacksonville, FL 32259.

—Barry Stephens

Helping Develop Fully Devoted Followers of Christ…Kid-Sized!

jlang@montereychurch.com — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 06:00:00 GMT

We all go to church with a vision—a vision of a great lesson from the minister, a wonderful worship, a great Bible class, seeing your friends, maybe even getting a break from your kids. Yep, I said it—free babysitting provided by the Children’s Ministry!

As parents, it is our responsibility to be the spiritual teachers and advisors for our children. It is not just up to the church to teach them. If we, as parents, put as much time and emphasis on our child’s spirituality as we do on their athleticism, we would shape the world. It takes sacrifices to have our child be the “best” in baseball or piano. What if we made those same sacrifices for our child’s Christianity?

Being involved in Children’s Ministry is not about “doing your time” just because you have a child in that area—it is about developing relationships with these children, loving them, and guiding them. It is about helping children discover their spiritual gifts, equipping them to serve and then walking alongside them as they begin to use their gifts for God’s glory.

During the month of April, Children’s Ministry will be signing up members to be a part of our team to teach in a monthly rotation for August 2008-August 2009. You can still teach about 12 times a year with one month on then three months off—or you may choose to teach for a whole quarter. There are many ways to become involved in Children’s Ministry. We need teachers in Bible classes, but we also need assistants in classes and in children’s worship, actors for dramas, singers, and technical gurus. We have a variety of ministry opportunities from comforting an infant to organizing supplies. We want you to serve where you feel you can use the gifts and talents that God gave you. Please call the Children’s Ministry office (795-5201) or stop by the table in the Great Hall to sign up.

It takes vision knowing that your service and your influence to children through Monterey’s Children’s Ministry will make a difference….and it takes sacrifice. Believe me, the sacrifice will be well worth it when you see what God will do in your life and in the lives of children you touch.

—Laurie Cromeens

Resurrection Power

jlang@montereychurch.com — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 06:00:00 GMT

In the New Testament, when you see the word hope, the topic of resurrection is never far from view. The resurrection is at the heart of the believer’s hope. Within days of the crucifixion of Jesus, God raised Him from the dead. The tomb where the disciples had laid Jesus’ body was found empty. In the forty days following His resurrection, Jesus appeared to the apostles on several occasions (e.g., John 20:19-31; 21:1-14), and to as many as five hundred disciples at the same time (I Corinthians 15:3-7). The resurrection of Jesus is not like other events in the flow of human history. Like the original act of creation, the resurrection was a unique action of the Creator. The fact of the resurrection of Jesus became the main theme of the apostolic preaching in the Book of Acts.

The resurrection of Jesus has the power to change lives! Paul said he wanted “to know Christ and the power of his resurrection” (Philippians 3:10). Peter declared that believers are born anew to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ (I Peter 1:3). We have victory over sin because of the resurrection of Christ, but His resurrection is also God’s guarantee that our bodies will be raised from the dead.

The most lengthy discussion of the resurrection in Scripture is found in I Corinthians 15 where Paul affirms both the bodily resurrection of Christ and the bodily resurrection of believers when Jesus returns. Because sin entered the world, we are confronted with a sin problem and a death problem. We experience spiritual death because of our sin problem, but all human beings also die physically because sin entered the world. That’s why Paul describes death as the enemy of human beings (I Corinthians 15:26).

However, the redemptive work of Jesus answers both problems. At the cross, Jesus became sin for us in order to solve our sin problem (II Corinthians 5:21). Through His resurrection, Jesus gives us victory over death (1 Corinthians 15:50-57). In other words, God sent His son to reverse death and to regain what we all lost in the fall. Because of the resurrection, Christians live with the promise of immortality (II Timothy 1:10; I Corinthians 15:53-54).

Interestingly, the New Testament uses the words first-fruits (I Corinthians 15:20, 23) and firstborn (Romans 8:29; Colossians 1:18; Revelation 1:5) to describe the resurrection of Jesus. The first-fruits were exactly what the name implies—the first to ripen of a much larger harvest to follow. Jesus has pioneered the way from death back to life, and we will one day follow His footprints along the same path. The resurrection of Jesus is not only a victory for Jesus, but assurance for the believer that death is not final. As God raised Christ from the grave, so we will be raised to live eternally. That is our hope!

Here’s the bottom line. The resurrection is not merely an interesting story, but it forces us to make a decision about the meaning and purpose of life. The resurrection of Jesus confirms that Jesus really is the Son of God, and that we now have power to live life to the full. We live with hope—the promise of life forever with God! Believe the good news! Jesus was raised from the dead!

A candidate for the Congregational Life Ministry role will be visiting with us next weekend. He will teach a combined adult class at 9:45 a.m. with the following classes in the Fireside Room—Servants Journey, Transformers, New Creation, Daybreak, and Single Again. Please continue to pray as we search for the right candidate for this role.

—Barry Stephens

Special Easter Service Times

jlang@montereychurch.com — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 07:00:00 GMT

Sunday services for March 23rd will be at 8:15am and 10:00am. We will not have Bible classes that morning.

In addition, there will be no activities at the building on Wednesday night, March 19th.

Easter Sunday

jlang@montereychurch.com — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 06:00:00 GMT

As believers, we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus every day, but the Easter season is always an incredible opportunity to reach out to our community with the good news of Jesus’ death and resurrection. Many, who do not attend church on a regular basis, will choose to attend a church service on Easter Sunday. What a great opportunity to invite neighbors and friends to hear the story of Jesus!

Our theme for today and next week is GPS: God Positioning System. One of the marvels of technology is this little gadget that has the capacity to tell you where you are, and to guide you to your destination. If you have ever been lost on a trip, you know the fear and anxiety wrapped into being lost—you know what a blessing it is to find your way again whether that is through a GPS, a map, or the courage to stop and ask for directions.

Relate that analogy to our faith journeys. Scripture reminds us that sin leaves us lost, separated from God, confused, anxious, and fearful, but God’s grace is always there—pursuing us, pointing us in the right direction, longing for us to be on the right path. God’s grace is the positioning system for our life journeys. At the heart of that journey is the good news of the cross and the resurrection.

The question for next Sunday’s assembly is, Where Will You Be When You Get Where You’re Going? We go in so many directions, and we do it at a maddening pace, but do we really know where we’re headed? The testimony of the resurrection is that God is taking history somewhere—a triumphant conclusion—and we are invited to be part of that journey. It is a journey filled with many uncertainties because we live in a fallen world, but it is a journey that is filled with peace and security because we trust God’s positioning system.

Will you take a few moments this week to pray for friends who need Jesus, and then pick up the phone or in a one-on-one conversation invite them to join us next Sunday? Cards for you to use as you invite folks to join us next week are available at the Welcome Center. God may well have put you in that person’s life for such a moment.

Worship assemblies next Sunday will be at 8:15 and 10 a.m. We will not have Bible classes next week. Coffee and donuts will be available in the Great Hall from 9:30-10 a.m. Also, remember because this is spring break week for our school systems, we will not have any activities at the building this Wednesday evening.

Our Men’s Ministry is hosting 100 Hours of Prayer beginning with a continental breakfast on Wednesday morning at 7 a.m. You are encouraged to devote an hour or more to prayer during these 100 hours—a period of time that will conclude at noon on Easter Sunday.

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given not only in the present age but also in the one to come. Ephesians 1:18-21

—Barry Stephens

GPS: God Positioning System

jlang@montereychurch.com — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 06:00:00 GMT

When all the conversations have taken place regarding church growth, the bottom line is that most folks are drawn to churches because of relationships. I am confident that many of us at Monterey visited this church for the first time because a friend invited us. We have that unique opportunity daily—to invite friends, neighbors, co-workers, and other family members to participate in worship assemblies, Bible classes, and other activities at Monterey.

The other piece of this story is that many people will choose to attend church at special seasons of the year even if they don’t attend church on a regular basis. That is true for the Easter season, and so I especially encourage you to invite those you know to join us for the next two Sundays.

The theme for the next two weeks is GPS: God Positioning System. I don’t have a GPS in my car, and given my technology skills, my learning curve would be pretty steep. I know what it’s like to be lost—and because I like to be in control, my family knows how difficult it is for me to stop and ask for directions. The reality is that all of us need to seek God’s directions for our lives. At the heart of God’s positioning system is the cross and the resurrection, and those central tenets of Christianity will be the focus of the messages the next two weeks.

Here is the schedule:

Palm Sunday—March 16
Worship Assemblies—8:15 and 10:45 a.m.
Message: The Way of the Cross
Bible Classes—9:45 a.m.

Easter Sunday—March 23
Worship Assemblies—8:15 and 10 a.m.
Message: Where Will You Be When You Get Where You’re Going?
No Bible Classes

Cards, for you to give to friends as you invite them, are available at the Welcome Center this morning. Please take several—pray for friends who don’t know Jesus, and please have the courage to invite them to join us these next two weeks. You have heard me say on numerous occasions that we need to be a church that puts in a good word for Jesus everywhere we go. Let’s make special efforts to do that very thing in the next few days. Our prayers, words, and invitations may make an eternal difference in another person’s life.

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. II Corinthians 5:16-21

—Barry Stephens